Sonic Adventure: Neo Genesis maximum infinite overdrive Nyarlathotep
by Eelektross497
Summary: A collection of short stories involving the characters of the Sonic universe. Enjoy all their whimsical adventures.
1. Chapter 1: Supreme Genesis

Sonic was screeching inhumanly as he observed Shadow melt. Shadow was melting because he had watched too much anime, and IT HAD GIVEN HIM A DEADLY DISEASE.

"S-s-s-soooonniiccccc, I haaaaaate youuuuuu! Why did you not warn me of the dangers of anime when you had the chance" screeched shadow as the flesh on his face liquefied.

"I TRIED TO YOU DING DONG! BUT YOU DID NOT LISTEN TO A SINGLE WORD, PHRASE OR CLAUSE I UTTERED! And now, you are suffering from the consequences of thy actions" replied sonic with a cold, dead, expressionless voice.

Shadow belted out one last screech before becoming engulfed in a raging inferno and exploding into a hail of embers drifting gently in the breeze of the green hill zone.

Tails flew down to greet sonic "So he finally kicked the bucket? About time, his condition was getting worse and worse. He almost spent his entire life savings on a giant statue of an anime character" he said.

"I know Tails, I know. But Shadow was still our friend, I think".

The duo turned around and went off to future adventure, leaving the black splotch that was once shadow the hedgehog behind them.


	2. Chapter 2: Furious Rangoon

Knuckles put his hand to his stomach as it growled like an angry panda. He was famished from all his hard work of guarding the master emerald.

"I think it's time for my lunch break, sit tight my precious emerald, I will return shortly" he said swiftly descending the steps of the temple.

Browsing through his refrigerator, Knuckles expression went from optimistic, to horrified. There was no food for him to eat, he had to go to the grocery store.

"Noooooooooo! I knew I should have gone shopping last week, but noooo, I just had to sit on my ass and watch wrestling all day" he thought angrily.

Knuckles tore his door off its hinges and smashed it into the ground leaving a huge crack down the center. He left his house to go grocery shopping.

As he jogged along merrily down the forest road, all Knuckles could think about was the amazing food he could get. Suddenly the train of thought going through the brain of Knuckles was derailed and thrown off a cliff as a huge explosion was heard.

Picking up the pace, Knuckles proceeded to the source of the cacophonous sound. The grocery store had exploded and was engulfed in flames. Knuckles fell to his knees, unable to believe that he was no longer able to obtain his foodstuffs.

As he gazed longingly into the dancing inferno of the super market, a faint shape was visible within the flame.

It was rectangular with stubby square arms and legs. It seemed to turn around and began to waddle towards Knuckles. As it came closer, the details of the creature became clear. It was a large domino, with a smiling face.

It approached Knuckles, and stared down at its helpless prey.

"Who are you? Why did you destroy the super market? Why? WHY" screamed Knuckles in a blind fury.

The giant domino bellowed a hearty laugh;

"Why? Because I am , and it was in my way. And as you know, nothing….stops... " those were the last words Knuckles heard before Mr. Domino crushed him.

Knuckles woke up in a cold sweat, his nightmare had ended.


	3. Chapter 3: Dance to the Death

Eggman sat behind his computer monitor, furious as to what he was seeing. All the investments he made into the stock market had failed him, leaving his funds empty.

"How can this be? I spent all my time doing research into what would be the best investments! How can I build Eggman land if I don't have any money" he screamed in rage, breaking his keyboard in half.

Eggman threw himself back into his chair and began to ponder his solutions to this dilemma.

After what seemed like an eternity, he found one.

"Cubot, Orbot, get in here now! I have a plan"

The two robot minions strode into the room fearfully, for whenever Eggman has a plan, it always ends horribly.

"Yes , what is this plan you speak of" murmured Orbot

"I'm very glad you asked, you see, all my investments of the stock market have failed. So to fix it, I am going to enter the computer, edit the value of the stocks, and leave. Now, I need you two to sell the stocks once I edit them so that way the prices aren't reset by the time I get out" he said, pointing to the sky.

Orbot and Cubot looked at each other and sighed.

"You sure this ell work Boss" exclaimed Cubot scratching his head.

Eggman slapped Cubot in the head "Of course it will, now get ready we begin now".

He stared at his computer screen for several minutes, concentrating with all his might. Soon, Eggman felt himself leave the earthly realm, and enter the digital world.

"Yessss, I have made it in, now all I have to do is find out where the stock market area is" he chided gleefully.

After searching for several hours, he found it. Eggman began to tap into the files and dug around until he found the stocks he invested in.

Suddenly a loud screeching twanging sound was heard behind him. Turning around Eggman looked on in horror as an enormous robot made of pixels was forming behind him.

"Unauthorized personnel have accessed the data base, preparing to exterminate" it bleated out in a dry monotone chant.

"CRAP, I NEED TO FINISH THIS ASAP" Eggman screeched as he typed furiously. He managed to alter the first stock.

"ORBOT, I GOT THE FIRST STOCK READY, SELL THAT SHIT NOW" he discordantly hollered at Orbot vi his walkie talkie.

Back in the real world Orbot frantically typed, nearly breaking the key board, in order to sell the stocks at the absurdly high price Eggman had set it at.

Meanwhile back in the digital world, the security system had obliterated Eggman, and sent him back to the real world.

Crestfallen, Eggman sunk into his chair. "Tell me Orbot, how much did we make from this whole ordeal" he said.

However, Orbot was oddly cheery. "You see master, we made enough money to pay for an entire year of supplies! Are you not happy".

Eggman was no longer unhappy. "That's wonderful! Now we can do all the evil we want to and be able to afford

Unfortunately for Eggman, the Government was able to easily track him down and took back all the money. it as well".


	4. Chapter 4: The inferno of my Heart

Tails was pacing back and forth in the dressing room, he was supposed to go on stage and perform a cooking show for live television in just five minutes. Naturally, he had cold feet.

"Y-you can do this Tails, you g-got this. Everything is under control" he told himself over and over again until the phrase was branded into his brain.

Soon, Tails heard the producer call him to the stage, it was time to begin.

"Okay kid, you know what to do, correct" said the manager nonchalantly, while he smoked a cigar.

"Y-yes sir, I am fully aware of what I'm doing" said Tails saluting.

"Good, now get out there and cook up a storm"

Tails waddled onto the set sheepishly; he was incredibly nervous, but somehow managed to keep a calm expression glued to his face.

He stood before the cameras and live audience. He gazed around and noticed Sonic, Shadow, Amy, Cream, and Big. Seeing so many of his friends in the audience filled him with the resolve he needed to cook.

"Hello everyone, my name is Tails and today, I'm going to show you, yes you, how to cook some amazing dishes" his voice was dripping with confidence.

The show went on and Tails chopped, roasted, broiled, baked, and peeled all manner of dishes. Time flew by and before he knew it, it was time for the audience to taste test his mouthwatering morsels.

"Now I know my food looks amazing, so why not let our wonderful audience try some for themselves" said Tails confidently winking to the camera, unaware of the horrors that were about to unfold.

The food was distributed amongst the fans, and they all began to chow down merrily. But soon Shadow began to looks sick, he started coughing, and clutching his stomach. Then he hacked up several worms.

The vile creatures slithered and writhed upon the plate of Shadow the Hedgehog, glistening a sickly oil color.

Shadow was not the only one affected though; soon the other audience members were vomiting and falling to their knees from cramps. Sonic began to hack up blood and vomit; he looked at Tails with pure hatred. Struggling to his feet, Sonic pointed a finger at Tails.

"You bastard! You gave us all… food poisoning" Sonic uttered in a spiteful tone before falling unconscious.

Shadow was hacking up more and more worms, he dragged himself up to Tails and grabbed him by the neck.

"You gave me Anisakiasis you horrible waste of skin" screeched Shadow as worms fell out of his mouth like a water fall. Soon he was completely devoured.

The floor had been painted a sick shade of vomit, for it was covered in several inches of it. People began to drop dead of dehydration, and soon, Tails was the only living being left in the room, save for the worms that ate Shadow.

All Tails could do was stand there, unable to process what had just happened. Soon a disembodied voice began to call his name. "Tails, Tails….TAILS"

"Waaaaa" was all Tails could say as he came back to reality. He had fallen asleep in his dressing room. "Ahh, it was all a dream? Thank goodness" he said relieved.

"You wish it was" said the guard outside of his door. Tails was really in a court house awaiting trial for mass food poisoning.

"You're lucky no one really died kid, it cost the studio a fortune in medical bills though" said the Guard.

At that moment, Tails knew he was screwed.


	5. Chapter 5: Dire Motivation

Blaze the cat was sitting at home, pondering what she should eat for dinner that night.

"Meat, fish, or some type of plant matter? So many options, so little time" she said while looking through her pantry.

Eventually she had decided to make some corn, because corn is very versatile and can be made into many different dishes.

Suddenly Omega broke through the wall and slapped the corn out of Blazes hands.

"Do not eat too many vegetables, or you will become one" he said.

Blaze however, was not pleased with Omegas actions.

"Get out of my house before I call the police on you! I mean it"

"I was simply trying to give you some advice, no need to snap at me" Omega proceeded to leave the building.

Blaze picked the corn up off the floor and plunked it into a pot of boiling water. In about five minutes the corn was ready and Blaze was indulging in a magnificent vegetable meal.

"MMmmm, that really hit the spot" she though while doing the dishes. When suddenly, a sprout popped out of the top of her head.

Blaze was turning green and growing leaves, her feet were becoming roots, and her mind was going blank. Soon the Blaze tree grew and flower, which became a cabbage that proceeded to fall of the tree and hit the ground. The tree burst into flames and became nothing but ash.

Omega came by later that day and found the cabbage.

"See, what I told you. You became a cabbage because you ate too many vegetables. Now I must make some antidote" he said.

Back at Omegas house, he mixed together some raw chicken, beef, pork, fish, beans, bones and protein shakes in a big blender. One it was mixed together, he threw it on the cabbage and it became Blaze once more.

"I told you, now you have learned a valuable life lesson. Now I must go" and Omega flew off into a sunset.

Blaze just sat there, covered in a raw meat smoothie.

"I'm going to forget this ever happened and take a shower" she said and walked off.


	6. Chapter 6: Hi Ho Kraken

The board walk is a marvelous place for a vacation. Sonic knows this. The day was perfect for a trip to the beach, clear blue skies, temperature in the upper 80s, and no shit kids to wail with their cacophonous screeches.

"Ahhhh yeeaa. This day is going to be great, first I'm going to go for a walk, then it's off to the rock wall, then to the museum of race cars and scorpions, from there it's off too…." But the growling of his stomach cut him off.

Then the reality hit him, Sonic had not eaten anything since last night, and the hunger had begun to set in as a result.

"Okay so I'll grab some grub first, then get my day rolling" he chided calmly.

The Board Walk had many different places to obtain food, Mexican food, Asian Food, American Food, hell, they even had a stand selling nasty foods that no one in their right mind would want to eat, like Hakarl.

But of all the stands, the one that caught his attention the most was the one selling whole, raw fish.

"Not something I normally eat, but it's worth trying new things right" he said to himself going over to the shop.

The stand was being maintained by an Asian man, he glanced up when he saw Sonic approach his store.

The stand was simple, made of wood with the fish displayed in a glass case.

"Welcome to my shop, please feel free to look to your heart's content. My products are all fresh" said the Asian man cheerfully.

Despite the small size of the stand, there was a grandiose amount of fish available, as well as hundreds of ways to prepare each type of succulent sea food. The mere thought made Sonics mouth water.

After a tremendous amount of thought, he decided on a whole Catfish.

"Thank you sir, that will be $15.99"

Sonic reached into his pocket, only to find out he had left his money at home. He was unable to pay for his fish. He glanced at the Asian man, grabbed the catfish and ran off.

"H-HEY, YOU NEED TO PAY FOR THAT YOU RASCAL" yelled the Asian Man.

"NO I DON'T I'M SONIC THE HEDGEHOG! I GET EVERYTHING FOR FREE DON'T YA KNOW" Sonic yelled back.

The Asian man was furious, he placed a 'be right back' sign on his stand and hopped over the display case. He proceeded to sprint after Sonic.

Despite the head start Sonic had received, the Asian man was more than capable of catching up with the hedgehog (the cat fish was quite heavy after all, and it slowed Sonic down considerably).

The Asian man ran up next to Sonic and looked at him "You will pay me now, or suffer the consequences" he yelled.

Sonic looked at the man with terror in his eyes, but he did not act so the Asian man tripped him. Sonic crashed into the floor with a sickening crunch and the catfish flew into the air to be caught by the Asian man.

The Asian man was very displeased with Sonics actions "You attempt to steal from my shop, the penalty for such an action is none other than trial by flames".

"W-what? How is that fair" sputtered out Sonic. But the Asian man would answer no more questions, and he snapped his fingers.

Flames erupted around the poor blue hedgehog and he was quickly engulfed. The screeches could be heard on the other side of the planet.

The doctors were able to get there in time though, and Sonic was saved, kind of.


	7. Chapter 7: Silent Forests-Part I

After the Cabbage incident, Blaze did not feel like going anywhere near vegetables for quite some time. In fact, she had eaten nothing but meat for the past few weeks.

"That's not very healthy, you need to eat a balanced diet of meat, plants, and grains and dairy to be at the top of your game" Silver told her while they ate lunch.

"I really don't care, just let me eat what I want and deal with any health issues myself, okay" she spat back at him.

"I'm just trying to help ya know, you don't need to verbally assault me for caring" groaned Silver.

The two of them continued to chat while indulging their food, savoring every bite for it truly was good food.

Eventually, the topic wandered to home improvement.

"I just re painted my entire living room and applied new wallpaper to it as well. Not only that but I got some sweet new door knobs for my bathroom and put some new carpets down in my bedroom. You should come over and take a look sometime" chattered Silver merrily.

"So Blaze, you done any alterations to your house lately"

Blaze looked at Silver and shook her head.

"Nope, I really don't do those kinds of things. I can't afford it nor do I have the desire to do so. Granted I was looking for something in my basement and uncovered a crawlspace that was covered up" replied Blaze.

"That's not exactly a minor thing. Aren't you at least a little suspicious as to where it leads? It could be the hiding place for treasure, or maybe bodies, oh, maybe there's a homeless person living there" Silver was yipping and hollering like a small child.

Blaze put up a hand to silence him; "I highly doubt it would be anything like that. How you even get such strange ideas in your brain confuses me to no end".

"Okay okay fine, but if you do explore please tell me what you find back there, okay" responded Silver in a chipper tone.

The two of them finished their meal and went home. Once there Blaze spent the rest of the day watching TV. Yet no matter how hard she tried, it seemed like the conversation from earlier kept creeping back to her.

First, when she turned on the TV it displayed a documentary on the historic uses of crawlspaces. After changing the channel, it had gone to a house hunting show where the person looking at houses was examining a crawlspace in the attic.

Blaze was slightly unnerved by the programs on the TV. She proceeded to flip through several more channels and ended up on a special about how to properly build a crawlspace in your house.

Sensing that perhaps the TV was trying to tell her something, Blaze proceeded to change the channel once more.

A ghost hunting show came on and a man was looking into a crawl space. Then the sound of a screeching baby came from within the crawlspace.

Blaze flipped through the channels furiously.

This time she ended up on a sports program watching professional wrestling.

"Okay, not my cup of tea, but at least it's not about crawl spaces" she thought.

The announcer's voice was loud and bombastic.

"AAAAAAAnd in this corner, we have the Crawllll Kiiiiiing. But he's not going up agents any old opponent, his challenger is none other than the one and only SSSSSPAAAAAACCEEEE MAAAAAANNNNN".

Blaze sat there for a moment, unable to believe it.

"Crawl King and Space man, you have got to be kidding me! No matter where I go I can't escape that freaking crawl space can I" Blaze screamed at the TV as she fell to her knees.

She was clearly losing her mind, and went into a berserker rage. Blaze began to break everything in sight, starting with the TV. Blaze ripped the TV off the wall and threw it onto the floor. She smashed her foot through it increasing the amount of force with each stomp.

With one final stomp, she smashed the TV into millions of pieces as well as breaking through the floor and ending up in her basement.

Still in a rage, she saw the crawl space. Upon seeing it, Blaze went even more insane. She ran up and began to tear apart the wall with her bare hands. After what seemed like hours of merciless, brutal, unrated wall obliteration Blaze had broken through to a stone door.

Once she had calmed down, she took a good look at the door itself.

"Where did this come from? How long has it been here? WHY WAS IT BEHIND THAT CRAWLSPACE" she screeched punching the door. The doors hinges were incredibly rusted and fell apart after being hit.

The door way led to a strange stone room. It was around 15 feet wide and only had a single coffin in the center. Blaze carefully approached the coffin and lifted the lid. Within was a human, who began to stir upon being uncovered.


	8. Chapter 8: Power of the Rails

Silver glared angrily at the furniture in his dining room. The table was fine, made of wrought iron and painted black. The appliances were also quite fine. All made of stainless steel and up to date (working in an appliance factory has it benefits).

The color and wallpaper of the room was also perfectly fine, as were the light fixtures. But there was one thing about the room that pissed him off to no end…the chairs.

All the chairs in the room were simple uncomfortable metal folding chairs Silver had dug out of a dumpster a few years ago. They were hideous, falling apart, and posed a health risk due to having multiple sharp, rusty edges that were most likely festering with Tetanus.

"That's it, I am getting new chairs RIGHT NOW" he yelled getting up and heading out the doors.

The furniture shop was full of all kinds of options for Silver to obtain marvelous chairs. Chairs with all kinds of colors, cushions, and designs were available. After giving it a metric shit ton of thought, he decided on a set of white, steel chairs with leather cushions.

The full set of four cost 300 dollars, it drained most of Silvers funds, but he felt it was worth it to no longer need to worry about tetanus induced law suits.

"With these chairs in my possession, my dining room will become an amazing location for all to inhabit! Once someone enters, they will be unable to leave out of sheer awe at its beauty" he thought to himself.

While he was daydreaming someone ran up behind him and knocked him over.

Silver crashed to the ground as the chairs flew out of his hands. Struggling to his feet, Silver turned around to see a Dinosaur holding his marvelous chairs.

Upon seeing the Dinosaur, the blood in Silvers veins went cold. It was none other than the Cleptosaurus Rex! The Dinosaur bandito who steals chairs from people.

"I hate it when dinosaurs steal my chairs, you have ten seconds to give me back my marvelous chairs or else I will make you wish you were never born you filthy reptile" shouted Silver as he took a battle pose.

The Cleptosaurus chortled heartily at Silver "Does thou truly belivest that thou shalt be able to prevent thee from swiping away thee's precious chairs".

The Cleptosaurus then sprinted up a wall cackling maniacally. Furious, Silver chased after him. The Cleptosaurus was incredibly fast, and he could shoot lasers, which he used to slow down silver.

Silver telekinetic powers gave him the ability to deflect the beams and reflect them back at the dinosaur thief. Granted all the reflected lasers did was blow up parts of the building causing it to rain debris and shrapnel to the streets below.

"You shall not cease my agendas you wretched hedgehog" called back the Cleptosaurus.

"I will stop at no ends to cease your insidious agendas" yelled Silver.

Summoning all his might, Silver charged forwards and crashed into the Cleptosaurus, the two of them fought in the air for a bit. The Cleptosaurus got the upper hand and grasped Silver by the neck, he then pile drived the Hedgehog into the roof of a nearby building.

The cement roof cracked under the immense force exerted upon it.

"Do you see now the futility of your efforts? One of mortal decent cannot hope to slay a demigod such as I! Give up and I may show mercy and not banish your soul to the Netherworld" Chided the Cleptosaurus mockingly.

Silver struggled to his feet, he was wobbling a bit, but over all still had some fight in him

"No, if I let you live; no one will have chairs anymore! That is a sin worthy of death! Even if you are a demigod, I shall put an end to your malicious agendas"

Silver charged at the Cleptosaurus and punched him, nothing happened. So he tried kicking, still nothing. Silver grabbed him with his telekinesis and threw him off the building, only for the Cleptosaurus to grow wings and fly back to the building.

"Fool, I cannot be killed" he yelled forming flames in his claws. He hurtled them in Silvers general direction.

Despite his effort to evade it, Silver was hit, suffering severe 3rd degree burns. His consciousness faded, and he blacked out.

Silver heard a voice call out to him.

"Do you wish to live? Is your will strong enough? Please prove to me if it is"

"I…I do not wish to die…I must save the world from the chair thief" Silver sputtered out.

"Your strong will to live has been confirmed, I will send you back with the power to fight" replied the voice calmly.

Silver awoke in the real world once more; he was wearing armor made from chairs, the same chairs that were sitting in his dining room.

He didn't know why, but he felt as if his chairs were trying to protect him.

"WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT? HOW CAN ONE SUCH AS YOURSELF WEILD SUCH IMMORTAL POWER? NORMALLY ONE WOULD EXPLODE" roared the Cleptosaurus.

Silver turned to him; "It's because these chairs believed in me and I believe in them. I know that if we work together, we can create a world where you do not exist" Yelled Silver as he flung himself at the Cleptosaurus.

Silvers fists crashed into the body of the Cleptosaurus, denting his scales. Silver smashed his foot into the jaw of the dinosaur, shattering the bone.

Blood sprayed from the broken head of the Cleptosaurus. He tried to swipe at Silver, but the hedgehog was too swift for him to hit. Seeing an opening, Silver dug his fingers into the broken body of the Cleptosaurus and began to tear him in half from the inside.

With one last heave, Silver obliterated the Cleptosaurus. The battle was over.

Silver returned to the ground and his chair armor became regular chairs once more. Silver saw the chairs he bought slowly lower to the ground once more as well. He smiled and took all his marvelous chairs home.


	9. Chapter Kyuu: Unchi ga Arimasu

Sonic, Shadow, Silver, Tails, and Knuckles were all super hyped as they saw the tropical island they would be staying at for their vacation.

"YEEEEA, time to get super drunk on fancy Vodka" yelled Knuckles and he practically flew off the boat onto the dock. But he missed the dock and hit his head on some rocks.

Everyone else got off the boat in a single file line, unable to keep their excitement held within their bosoms. Silver almost exploded from joy, and was only saved by Tails giving him a punch to the face.

"What the fukkk was dat maaaaaan? I thought we was friends" screeched Silver.

"You were going to explode, I had save you from dyeing" chided Tails as he snorted some crack.

"TAILS, DON'T DO THAT DRUG, DO METH, FOR METH IS FOR MEN" said Sonic swatting the crack out of Tail's hands while giving him some meth.

Shadow was in the back, carrying a large box off the ship. To his glee, no one asked what was inside for it was a surprise! He waddled from the boat down the path to the camp by himself. The woods were full of birbs, all glaring menacingly at the box held in the hands of Shadow. He ignored them because they were just stupid birbs. The camp was in a clearing of trees, Sonic and Silver had made several tents, but they did a shitty job as the tents were upside down; and on fire.

"Silver, this is your fault" yelled sonic

"No man, dis be you fault" yelled Silver.

Tails was on the ground snorting Meth; he let out a large fart and flew twenty feet away into a tree trunk.

"Hey guys, I got myself a treat for us all to indulge in" said Shadow, holding up the box.

"No, your treats suck, like airplanes" said Sonic.

"Besides, you smell" said Silver

Shadow ignored them and opened the box, pulling a piñata from within. It looked like a donkey, and was many colors.

Silver and Sonic chortled with laughter, even Tails joined in making fun of the piñata.

"What do we look like, twelve year olds? Ha ha ha ha ha" chortled Sonic

"Get that shit outta here; I have better things to do" Screamed Silver

"seuhfarisj iseufhweiufhpoawf wufwesuwaps" vomited Tails

Shadow was mad, not at his shitty friends, but at the piñata for making his friends laugh at him. With one good kick, he sent it into a tree. He sat his ass down on a log and got drunk on Vodka. Throughout the rest of the day they all took turns beating and insulting the poor piñata. Throwing rocks and sticks, as well as pouring various liquids on it.

Then Shadow did the unthinkable and used it as a toilet. They all went to sleep after that. The next morning the piñata began to stick.

"Lets just set it on fire and be done here" said Sonic, he was hangover from Vodka. Silver got the fire going, and proceeded to grab the piñata. All three heaved the poor piñata into the inferno, and sat down to watch it burn. Only, it would not burn. In fact, the fire died as soon as the piñata entered.

The piñata began to float, and it charged at Tails. Grabbing Tails around the neck, he was dragged to the ocean. Sonic and co chased the piñata, and by the time they got to the beach, they saw a horrible sight.

Fish had begun to roast tails over an open fire; they were all doing a ritualistic dance, singing Don't Stop Believing. The piñata was overseeing all this. Soon Tails caught fire and died. A fish chef carved him into equal pieces and served Tails with a side of green beans and mashed potatoes to the cult fish. Suddenly a massive multi-armed man fish exploded out of a volcano.

"I AM ASURA FISH! I'LL SMASH YOU!"

Asura Fish then proceeded to pick up a large tree and use it to smash Saaaaanic into a puddle of blood and shit. Silver screamed and died. Shadow was absolutely horrified at this turn of events and ran away. Asura Fish proceeded to give chase until he was stopped by a massive pile of shit that that oozed out of the ground. A large pale anthropomorphic fly torso was sitting on top of the shit pie. He looked at the Asura Fish

"MAN FISH I HAVE NEED OF YOUR POWER! COME WITH MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The shit pie fly yelled and dragged away the Asura Fish leaving Shadow alone with the Piñata.

Shadow never imagined he would be running for his life, or that the thing he was running from would be a demon piñata he bought on a shady website for three cents.

Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Silver had already been devoured by the insidious piñata, and he was the only one left standing. If he could just get away, then he would survive.

Shadow heard a gunshot behind him and felt his knee explode, and then saw the ground as he tumbled down, the cold hard ground grinded off the skin on the left side of his face. Looking up, he saw the piñata slowly walking towards him

The Piñata transformed into a muscular man with a Piñata for a head, he flexed his mighty muscles and picked up shadow. He then proceeded to choke slam shadow into the space jam where he exploded, reformed, melted, burned up and exploded again.

Pleases the man turned back piñata and set up another sale on Ebae to sell himself to a, hopefully, good group of people who will give him a honorable piñata death.


	10. Chapter 10: The Ninth Circle

A nice clear morning in June is when our next tale begins, more specifically, by a lake in the middle of a forest, sheltered from the approaching chaos. Big the Cat was snoozing beneath the shade of a large Alder tree, dreaming of robot sheep, fishing, and destroying a drug cartel from the inside. Sitting atop Big's head, was his tomodachi; Froggy, who also happened to be asleep.

Rustling in some nearby bushes stirred the little frog from his slumber, and he watched as Cream the Rabbit dragged herself out from the shrubbery. Both her legs appeared to be broken. Froggy shook Big awake, and hopped over to Cream.

"Cweam, is ebbything okay" Big said, squatting down before the small rabbit.

"Jee, I wonder if everything is okay, no no, I'm perfectly fine obviously, can't you tell by my two BROKEN LEGS" yelled Cream.

"Well if ebbything is okay, I'll go to sweep"; and Big went back to the tree, unaware to Cream's Sarcasm.

"I WAS JOKING YOU $#&$%^$ w%$#%$#&^%" Cream screeched. "Oh, why you no say so Cweam" sputtered Big as he picked Cream up off the ground. With Cream and Froggy in tow, Big began to waddle towards the nearby town, city, thing.

The towns people took Cream, and rushed her to the Hospital, Big had saved her. But a big question now was how did she get like this? Big decided to investigate, so he began to head towards the forest once more. But his train of thought was cut short by a large amount of shouting. He turned his large head in the direction of said screaming and saw a large amount of police officers charging somewhere.

"Looks like twouble, I must help" And he fast waddled in the same direction as the police.

"There he is, get him" yelled a police officer

"You can't run any more, pirate" yelled another.

As Big got closer, he at last saw who was being chased by the coppers. As the one officer said, he was a pirate, and he was dressed up in a store brand pirate Halloween costume.

"ARRRRGGGGGG, I be the pirate kang, and I will not be captured by the law so easily. COME TO ME MY WOODLAND FRIENDS" he yelled, and the ground began to shatter.

Big managed to save most of the officers who were flung, only to see in horror as an army of giant hamsters and velociraptors had exploded out of the ground, and were fighting the Police officers.

"Oh no, I must save them all" yelled Big, and he catapulted himself towards the ground, landing like a meteor; sending all the hamsters and raptors flying. But they all made a recovery and landed upon their feets. The raptors charged right at Big, who deflected them with his belly, and swatted the Hamsters away with his fishing rod. The Pirate man was cackaling maniacally, unaware of the Hamster behind him.

"I AM THE MASTER NOW, AND YOU ARE ALL…" but the Hamster pounced on him and began to devour him, "NOOOO, I AM THY MASTERRRRRRRRRR" soon he was surrounded by Hamsters and was promptly devoured.

Once done with the Pirate, the Hamsters and Raptors spread out and rampaged around the town. Big was now in trouble, he could not handle all of them at once. But he tried with all his might.

Big grasped a Raptor around the neck, and threw it at another, the two collided with a defining crack, but to Big's amazement both got up and rampaged on. Turning to other means, Big grasped a telephone pole, and ripped it out of the earth. Straining his muscles and focusing his strength, he swung, smashing all that stood before him. Once more the things he wanted to destroy got up and rampaged once more.

Suddenly rain clouds filled the sky, and it roared like Loki when he stubs his toe. The clouds swirled ominously, and then it began to rain Tigers. One after another the tigers fell upon the town, and as they landed they began to do battle with the raptors. Big assisted them, but was of little help. When the sea of hamsters and raptors seemed to clear up, shit went south almost immediately as a fully grown sperm whale exploded out of the streets, knocking one of the tigers into the air.

Seeing his chance, Big grabbed his fishing rod, and turned it into a harpoon; he hopped on a little boat and began to row down the sidewalk. As Big neared the sound of war, he caught sight of his prey. He readied his weapon, and flung it with all his might, only for it to bounce off the whale's skin.

"Ok, time to get serious" said Big as he pressed a button on his belt. At once all the tigers fell onto their backs, seemingly dead. But then they all sprung back up and fused together into one giant tiger, a tiger the size of a battle ship. "Yea, take that you dumb whale" cried Big, doing a little happy dance.

But the whale was not done, for he summoned several cannons and aimed them all at the Tiger. The tiger exploded back into many smaller tigers. But now the whale was weakened. Once more Big got out his harpoon, and flung it at the mighty whale. Hitting the Whale in the mouth, it screamed and died. All was restored to its natural world order.


	11. Chapter 11: Canto I-Wrath of Demons

Night had fallen and the moon was new, yet Sonic had insisted upon going for a run, despite the protests of his friends. "It is too dangerous" and "You will die" was what they told him, but Sonic had no fear, no regrets. He simply wanted to live his way and he was out the door in the blink of an eye.

The cool air of the night rushed past Sonic's face, all was going well. That is until he tripped on a root he had not seen. Sonic fell and rolled down a hill, hitting several rocks and trees along the way. When he finally came to a stop, he found himself at the shores of a great lake.

A thin mist hung over the glass like surface, and it almost seemed to glow. It gave an eerie vibe as it swirled unnaturally almost as if alive. A sudden movement caught the eye of Sonic, and from the formless mist skulked three figures, a Lion, a Jaguar, and a Wolf. Upon seeing the helpless hedgehog, the three phantom beasts charged with the intent to slaughter.

Struggling to his feet, Sonic made a feeble attempt to flee, but was unsuccessful. His legs were too damaged, as the beasts were about to decimate Sonic, a ray of divine light shot down from the heavens, scattering the wraiths and returning them to mist. From the ray of light came a being, at first it was hard to see, but gradually became visible as it closed in.

The heads of a lion, bull, bird, and man sitting atop a torso with four wings, this is the being that had saved Sonic. "Sonic the Hedgehog, you did not heed the words of thy friends and as such have nearly met thy end. Those three spirits represent hell itself and drag unfortunate souls down with them. I apologize in advanced, but such reckless behavior cannot be ignored. I, the Angle Ryuziel shall be thy guide through hell. You shall see firsthand the horror you have so narrowly avoided"

"Let's not and say we didn't, is that okay"

"No"

And in a great flash of light, Sonic felt as if he was being sucked down an enormous drain, one that crushed all air out of his lungs. When the pressure had finally ended, Sonic found himself at the base of a great door, one that towered over all of creation. It's frame constructed of the petrified bodies of sinners.

"This is the Gehena gate, the door to hell itself. Once entered, thou cannot return. Prepare for we are to enter" spoke Ryuziel. The door creaked open as a black mist escaped from it, and sucked both in.

After another lengthy fall, Sonic hit hard ground. Rising he looked upon his surroundings. A great chasm of red stone and lava met his gaze as countless souls screamed in agony. "The first circle, Lust. The lustful souls are burned with flames as strong as their desires were in life"

Sonic slid down a hill and watched in horror at the many burning carcasses. They screamed to him for help, even trying to move to him only to have their charred bodies fall apart like burnt logs.

A man fell down before Sonic, and he tried to help him back up. But the poor souls crumbled to ash in Sonics hands with a shrill cry of agony. Sonic hurried his decent into the unknown. The crags and crevices were tricky to navigate, and the ground was covered in so much ash that gaining proper footing was neigh impossible. Sonic slipped and fell into a particularly large canyon.

This lead him to a new cave, one lit faintly by red stones in the walls. The floor of this cave was oddly moist. "Beware, for we enter the domain of Asmodeus, the arch demon of this circle. Make haste and do not linger, for he is most unpleasant".

The cave descended further downwards and split off many times. Sonic took several side paths and found nothing but dead ends. At one dead end though, he heard a faint panting from somewhere inside the walls. He made a swift exit.

The panting sound did not cease though, and it persisted and grew in audacity the deeper Sonic fled. Soon it almost seemed to be in his ear. The ceiling behind Sonic burst and a blob of bodies, all fused into one being, slithered in.

Each body was pale and moaned in unison, it moved via undulation of its amorphous body. Sonic choose to flee but could not out run the beast. A cross road came to him, and Sonic made the split second choice to go left. The beast followed him.

Soon Sonic found himself in a great circular room full of withered bodies, chains, ropes, and other medieval torture devices. In the center was a giant man shaped beast, with skin of red and blue, five eyes, and horns. His eyes lazily caressed over his new visitor, and then to the vile monster that was chasing him.

"ahhhhhh, such lovely toys. Today will be so much fun" the demon said gleefully as he pounced upon the wad of bodies. Sonic fled, but did not like the sounds that were emanating from the actions behind him.

Once out of ear shot, he took a rest. "That red and blue beast was Asmodeus, lord of desire. The horror that chased you was the amalgamation of love, once an orgy, now a horrible flesh eating monster. Come we must make haste, to the next circle" chastised Ryuziel as he dragged Sonic down to the next realm of hell.


End file.
